JACK AND ST PETER
by Donna McIntosh
Summary: Just think of Jack and Ennis in Heaven.


Title: JACK AND ST. PETER

Author: Donna McIntosh

Email:

Fandom: Brokeback Mountain

Genre: Slash

Rating: NC-17 FRAO

Warning: None

Summary: Just think Jack and Ennis in Heaven

Comments: This story sat half-finished for months. I came across it recently and after re-reading it, it brought to mind Janie's wonderful Angel story and that's what inspired my ending.

Beta: Thanks Janie for the beta work and the inspiration of your wonderful story "The Angel's Tale".

JACK AND ST. PETER

St. Peter stood in front of the pearly gates and greeted the new comers one at a time; asking them the manner of their deaths and what they had learned on earth. Some he ushered through the gates, others he pointed off to the left, down a long endless hallway.

"And you sir? How did you meet your end?" He asked the scruffy looking man in his sixties.

"Not quite sure," he answered scratching the back of his head. "I was kinda out of it at the time."

"You were drunk."

"That's about it."

"Did you kill anyone else with your foolishness?"

"Oh hell no! I wouldn't do nothin' like that. I never kilt nobody."

"Just yourself."

"I guess so."

"What a waste. Did you learn anything from your time on earth?"

"Um … Yeah, I guess I did. Stay in school so you can get a good job, find a nice girl to marry and leave the whores alone, and when the bar tender says you've had enough – believe him."

"It appears you've learned quite a lot this time around. How would you like to live your next life?"

"Well sir, if it ain't too much trouble, I'd like to be an educated man. I want to have a good job and a wife who don't sleep around."

"That seems quite appropriate. You may go through the gates." He pointed towards the gates as they swung open and the man meandered on through.

"And you sir?"

A leather jacketed thug stood before him with a sneer.

"How did you meet your end?"

"Who the fuck are you and why should I tell you anything?"

"To the left please. Down the hallway." St. Peter said and the thug swaggered on down the hall.

Jack Twist stepped up, the last one in line.

"And you, sir. How did you meet your end?"

"It was a stupid accident. I was changin a tire when it exploded. Rim got me in the face and before I knew it, I was standin here in this line."

"Unfortunate, for sure. And did you learn anything in your 39 years on earth?"

"Yes Sir, I did. I grew up thinking that love was the strongest, most powerful thing in the world, but I found out it isn't."

"Are you sure about that?" St. Peter asked him.

"Positive. Fear is. Fear can cause more pain, ruin more lives than anything else so fear must be the most powerful."

"Now why would you say that?"

"It's what I've lived with my whole life. First of all, fear of my father. He was supposed to love me but he didn't. He hated me. Nothin' I ever did was good enough for him. I tried so hard to please him, to make him proud of me, but nothin' worked."

"You're a grown man. Why were you still living in fear of your father?"

"I was a kid back then but once I got big enough, I took off. So that particular fear lessened but others took its place."

"You left home as a teenager. You no longer had to fear your father. Why were you still afraid?"

"I'm gay. A lot of people hate gays. I gotta pretend to be straight or take the chance of being beaten up or killed."

"I see. You haven't had much of a chance to learn anything then, have you?"

"I've learned about fear. I've learned how to sneak around to get what I need, I'm pretty good at lying now. I learned that no matter how much I love somebody, no matter how good I try to be, I still don't get to be with the one I want. And I'm still dirt to most people."

"I see. And how would you like to spend your next life?"

"I don't want another one. I want the one I had."

"But I thought you lived in fear?"

"I did. But at least I got to be with Ennis a coupla times a year. It wasn't near enough but it made all the other stuff bearable."

"So you'd be willing to go back to the same life, just to be with Ennis a few times a year?"

"I would. I know it ain't much of a life but when I'm with Ennis, nothin' else matters. Whatever I have to go through, all the waitin' and worryin' and sneakin' around and lyin' I have to do is all worth it."

"I see. So the love you feel for Ennis is stronger than the fear of discovery?"

Jack thought about it for a few minutes then answered. "I guess I was wrong. Love is stronger than fear."

"It is in you."

Jack shook his head acknowledging the truth in the matter. "Lot a good learnin' that does me."

"Would you like another chance at love in a new life? Would you like to be straight, meet a beautiful woman, be rich?"

"I already done that, Sir, thanks just the same."

"I see. So all you want is your old life back?"

"Yes Sir, if that's possible. I mean, I know my face is busted up and all but that wouldn't make no difference to Ennis."

"This Ennis means that much to you?"

"Yes Sir, he does. He's the only one I ever met who just liked me right off, right from the beginnin'. And he needs me. He don't know it yet, but he's gonna be in a bad way without me. You see, I'm the only one he's ever been with and he'll be all alone now. He's got no one but me, no one that knows him good like I do. Ain't no one can make him happy like I can." Jack smiled his most persuasive smile with his scarred up face and twisted nose.

"And the two of you only get together a couple times a year and the rest of the time what do you do?"

"I admit, I slip out and get some now and then 'cause I get to hurtin' so bad for it, but most of the time, I just stay home and get drunk and wait."

"Are you sure that's the kind of life you want?" St. Peter was stunned. "How would you like to be a jet pilot? You could fly one of those fancy new planes or maybe an astronaut? You could walk on the moon! Or you could be a rich movie star and thousands would go to see your movies and you could have your choice of lovers; anyone in the world?"

"No thank you Sir. If gettin' another life is possible, I'd like to have the same one I just left. Not that I ain't grateful, 'cause all that other stuff sure sounds real nice but I'm a country boy. All I really want in the world is a little ranch somewhere with Ennis by my side runnin' it with me."

"Hmmmm … all right. If you'll just have a seat over there, I need to go have a talk with the Boss Man. See what he has to say."

Jack sat patiently and waited, his legs crossed one over the other and jiggling. He worried about Ennis and wondered if he'd been told yet, worried how he'd take it. He'd be all alone now. That waitress he'd been doin' didn't mean nothin' to him, Jack knew that. Ennis would be convinced that someone with tire irons got him. Poor Ennis, poor sweet Ennis. All alone in the world with no one he could talk to, no one who understood him. Poor, poor Ennis.

In minutes St. Peter was back. Jack stood up and came over to him.

"Okay, Jack. Here's the deal. We had a long talk about your 39 years and we decided that you should have another chance."

"With my old life? I don't really want to be no body else."

"Yes, pretty much. We have decided to make a few changes though."

"You ain't gonna make me straight, are you? I don't wanna be somethin' I ain't."

"No. The changes we've made are minor in the big picture. You'll never even notice them."

"Do I still get to be with Ennis once in a while? Ain't no use goin' back if I can't be with Ennis."

"I'm sure you'll be pleased with the arrangements we've made. Now if you'll just turn around and head back the way you came."

"Okay. Thank you, Sir. I'm much obliged." Jack reached out his hand and St. Peter clasped it warmly.

"Be off with you now. I'll see you again in about 43 more years." St. Peter smiled and waved him off.

Jack waved and started walking. The path was long and winding and he kept on going until it grew dark. Finally he came upon his truck, got in and drove on home. He was only a half hour from home now and he whistled as he turned the radio dial until it stopped on a Willie Nelson tune, "Cowboys are frequently, secretly fond of each other."

He hummed along with it and sang the chorus with Willie. He was in a fine mood when he reached home but it all changed when he saw Lureen waiting for him in the living room, ringing her hands and smoking up a storm.

"Jack, honey, I got some bad news." She stubbed her cigarette out in the crystal ash tray on the end table.

"What is it? Is it Bobby? Is he hurt?"

"No, honey. It ain't Bobby. It's your daddy. He had a heart attack, Jack. He's gone."

"Oh my God!" Jack stood white faced.

"Your momma called a couple hours ago. I called your hotel in Amarillo but you had just checked out. What are you going to do?"

"Lureen, you know what I gotta do. We talked about it before."

"I know we did but I didn't think it would happen this soon."

"I know. Neither did I." He picked up the phone and dialed his mother's number. They spoke softly for a few minutes and he headed upstairs to pack. Lureen followed him up.

"I don't see why you can't talk her into comin' down here to live. She'd be so much more comfortable here with us."

"She's not ever goin' to leave the ranch, you know that."

"You could at least make the offer. Who knows, she might be tired of diggin' in the dirt all these years tryin' to scratch out a livin'."

"I did make the offer five years ago when daddy fell off that ladder and broke his leg. She wouldn't hear of it. And now that he's goin' in the ground up there with the rest of her family, you can just forget about it."

"I just thought I'd make the offer one more time. You gonna be stayin' up there or are you comin' back?"

"I don't know. It depends."

"On what?"

"How bad a shape she's in when I get up there. Just don't count on my comin' back. At least not right away. I gotta see if there's enough left of the ranch to salvage and if I can get anyone up there to help out."

"Why don't you ask your fishin' buddy? He does ranch work, don't he?"

Jack snapped his suitcase shut. "I was thinkin' about that. I know he ain't all that happy where he's workin' right now. I gotta take a look at the place first and see Momma. I can't make no decisions right now."

"Okay. You're right. This is no time to make big decisions. I'll hold down the fort here and take care of that meetin' with the buyers tomorrow. You need to let me know though, as soon as you make your decision."

"Lureen, honey, that decision has already been made. We both knew this day was comin'. You best just go ahead and talk to your lawyer about a divorce."

"Now there's no since in rushin' things. You might get up there and decide that isn't the kind of life you want after all. You can always come back here and you know we got more than enough room for your Momma right here with us. We could set her up in the sun room. It looks out over the rose garden and she wouldn't even have to worry about the stairs. I could set her up with a bunch of credit cards and take her to the club and introduce her around."

"Lureen, stop. She ain't the Country Club kind a woman. She's like me. She needs to be out away from people, doin' for herself on her own land." He made a quick change of clothes, grabbed his bag and headed back down stairs.

"Well, hold on just a minute here. Let me get you some cash." She hurried into her little office and worked the dial on her safe. "All I got is ten thousand cash. Will that be enough? You can always draw more once you get to a bank. You got your ATM cards with you?"

"Yes, I do. This will be plenty, thank you. I'll call you as soon as I get things settled."

"Okay. Be sure and give her my sympathies and explain why I couldn't join you for the services. I got a business to run here and all."

"I'm sure she'll understand." Jack said as he made his way out the front door. "Tell Bobby I'll call him soon."

He stopped only long enough to get gas and drove until he couldn't keep his eyes open any longer. He pulled into some little motel, took a room and settled in for a few hours sleep. The sun shining in through the window the next morning woke him. He grabbed a quick shower then picked up the phone and called Ennis.

"Yeah?" Ennis answered the phone as he pulled his Levi jacket on. He had his truck warming up outside and was pouring coffee into his thermos and trying to talk on the phone at the same time.

"Ennis, it's me. I know you're probably gettin' ready for work but I just needed to talk with you for a minute."

"Jack? What is it? What's wrong?" He could hear the pain and fatigue in every word.

"It's my Pa, Ennis. He had a heart attack yesterday. He's gone."

"Oh, jeeze, I'm sorry, Jack."

"I'm on my way to Lightnin' Flat right now. I gotta see to Momma, take care of things."

"Sure enough. Is there anything I can do to help?"

"I don't know yet. I gotta see what the place looks like; see if there's anythin' left of it."

"You need my help, you just gotta ask."

"Thanks, Ennis. I appreciate that. I'll let you get on to work now and I need to get back on the road. I'll call you again if that's Okay?"

"You do that, Jack. I'll be here after six."

"Thanks, Ennis. It's so good talking to you. I'll call you later then."

"Okay, later."

They hung up.

The phone was ringing in his trailer when Ennis pulled up. Something told him it was Jack and he scrambled to get the key in the lock and through the door.

"Hello?" He grabbed the phone out of breath.

"Ennis! I'm so glad you're home."

"You all right, Jack?"

"Yeah. Things are pretty rough here. Lots of people hangin' 'round. Momma has lots of friends."

"That's a good thing, Jack. She needs friends at a time like this."

"Yeah, I suppose so. I just wish they would all leave though."

"They will soon enough."

"I'm sure. Hey, listen. Is there any chance you could make a drive up here this weekend and take a look around? The place is pretty much run into the ground but Momma's dead set on stayin'. I don't know where to begin to get this place back on its feet again. I need your advice."

"Sure enough, Jack. I'll come first thing Saturday mornin'. What time you want me there?"

"Don't matter. Whenever you get here will be fine. I got your postcard about Nov. 7th. I guess this kinda messes things up. Don't know if I'll be able to make it or not."

"Don't you worry none about that. Family comes first. You gotta get your Momma settled and decide what you're gonna do. We can always meet up later."

"Ennis, I already know what I'm gonna do. I've known it for years. I'm movin' in here for good, I'm lookin' after Momma and I'll be gettin' a divorce. I already talked it over with Lureen. All I gotta decide now is if I should try and work this ranch or get myself out and look for a job."

"Didn't you tell me your Momma said when she was a girl that ranch was the finest in the county?"

"Yeah, that's what she always said."

"And it's got a creek that runs year round?"

"Uh huh. Big sucker runs clear across the back forty."

"What about your water well, ever had any trouble with it?"

"Nope. Never been any well problems round this area that I ever heard tell of."

"Your Momma still put in a vegetable garden every spring?"

"Yep. She's got three freezers she keeps full of her vegetables and fruits. Some fruits she grows, some she trades her vegetables for with the neighbors."

"Sounds like the ground is pretty good then."

"It's supposed to be. I don't know nothin' 'bout it. To me, dirt is dirt. You water stuff and it either grows or it don't."

"Well there are certain times when you're supposed to plant things and certain times when you don't. Your Momma got one of those farmer's almanacs?"

"Huh?"

"It's a book they put out, tells when to plant things."

"Oh. Don't think she has one of them. She never said."

"You can pick one up at the local feed store. You plant by the rules and you got a pretty good chance of your stuff growing."

"Didn't know there were rules for such things."

"You can't just dig a hole and throw the seeds in, Jack. You gotta know what to plant and when to plant it and how deep to plant and how much to water. You got an irrigation system set up?"

"Nope. Pa always said that was God's work. If He wanted your crop to grow He'd send the rain and if He didn't, you just had to live with it."

"That ain't no way to go about farmin' or ranchin'. What about the neighbors, they do any irrigatin?"

"Nope, not that I seen. Ennis there ain't anyone around here under a hundred years old!"

"Jack, that can't be true!"

"I ain't seen nothin' but gray-haired folks since I been here. Most of 'em been callin' me 'Sonny'."

Ennis snickered at that. "Well, Sonny boy, I'll be there Saturday, about mid-morning. We'll take a look at the place and see if it's worth anything or just a money hole."

"It'll be so good to see you. I miss you somethin' awful." Jack sighed into the phone.

"Me too, Bud. How are you doin'? I know you probably got your hands full right now lookin' after your Momma and all the arrangements and neighbors and such but you need to look out after yourself too. You gettin' any sleep, you eatin'?"

"Yeah, some." Jack answered and tried to stifle a yawn.

"You have any trouble on the trip?" Ennis asked.

"Nope. Went pretty easy."

"Good. I dreamed 'bout you last night. Dreamed you had a flat tire. You was fixin' it and I heard an explosion. It woke me up."

"Well that's a dumb dream. What exploded?"

"Don't know. It sure scared me though. Thought you was hurt or somethin'."

"Nope, I'm fine, just tired." Jack wiped his hand over his tired face and rubbed his nose.

"Sure lookin' forward to seein' you on Saturday."

"I'll be there for sure. Count on it."

"Okay. I'm gonna go see to Momma now. You drive carefully."

"I will. Saturday mornin' then."

"Yeah, Saturday mornin'."

They each hung up the phone.

xxxxxx

"Momma, are you sure now that you want to stay here? We could move to a town somewhere near here. I could get a job and get us a place. We could come back when ever you wanted to."

"I ain't leavin', Jackie. I just can't. My blood is here. I ain't never lived no where else but here. I was borned right upstairs in that front bedroom. This is my home. My family is all out there in that little cemetery. This is where I belong and this is where I'm stayin'."

"All right, Momma. If this is what you really want, then this is what you'll have. We'll see what Ennis has to say after he gets done lookin' around."

"I know the place don't look all that good right now, Son, but that's 'cause it's October and things are dyin' off. Come spring time and this place comes alive. It's really quite beautiful." Mrs. Twist was saying wistfully.

They heard Ennis's truck pull up by the kitchen door and Jack walked over and opened it for him. Mrs. Twist poured another cup of coffee and the three of them sat down at the table.

"So what do you think?" Jack asked. "Momma really wants to stay here."

"I can see why." Ennis sipped his coffee. "I'll bet this place is beautiful in the spring."

"Oh, it is, Ennis. It is! I was just tellin' Jackie that very thing!"

"You think it's workable?" Jack asked.

"Uh huh but you can't do it alone. Too much work for one person."

"That was always the problem," Mrs. Twist said. "We could never get anyone out here to help out. I tried to help but I never was very strong."

"It ain't woman's work, Momma." Jack offered, patting his Momma's arm. Then turning to Ennis he asked, "You really think the place could be brought back up again?"

"Uh huh. With some cash money and a hell of a lot of hard work. I know you probably got enough to get started but you'll need just about everythin'. And you ain't used to this kind of work, Jack. You been a salesman for years now. You sure you're up to it? You could probably get a good job in a town somewhere close by."

"No. If there's a chance that this place can be brought back up then that's what I wanna do. Hell, I ain't never been afraid of hard work."

"We can put a notice up in town over at the feed store. See if anyone might be available to help out." Mrs. Twist offered.

"You go hirin' someone and you'll spend the rest of your days worryin' about makin' payroll." Ennis said.

"I can't do it alone, Ennis."

"I know you can't. I was thinkin' maybe I could move up here and give you a hand. I could pull my trailer up and you wouldn't have to pay me nothin'. Just some food, canned goods and such."

"You serious? You'd move up here?" Jack asked wide-eyed.

"Oh that would be perfect!" Mrs. Twist said with the first smile on her face that Jack had seen since he'd been there.

"Uh huh. Old man Cole just put his two nephews on the payroll. Times are kinda tough all over with the recession and stuff. He really don't need me any more. It'd probably be a relief to him, one less check to write on pay day."

"What about your child support?" Jack asked.

"Got two payments left and I got enough in the bank to cover that. That's about all I got though, Jack. That and this week's pay check I cashed yesterday."

"Ennis, I got some money put aside and Pa had a life insurance policy. Not a windfall by any means but enough to get by for a couple a years."

"What about back taxes, notes on the place?" Ennis asked.

"Mr. Twist had always taken care of the taxes. He did take loans out on the place but he always got an insurance policy with each note so if anything happened to him, they would be paid off." Mrs. Twist said.

"So the place is free of debt then?" Ennis asked.

"Yep. We don't owe nobody nothin'. It ain't much but what we got is ours free and clear."

"Good. That's a good way to start." Ennis agreed then added. "So what do you think, Mrs. Twist? You think you could stand to have me around the place?"

"Oh, yes, Ennis, definitely!" She reached over and squeezed his arm.

"Well, I best be on my way then. I'll head on back to Riverton, get Alma paid off and get my trailer set to haul up here." The three of them stood up.

"I can't thank you enough, Ennis. I can promise though, that when we take the calves to market next month, you'll get a share." Mrs. Twist said.

"Don't you worry none about that right now. I'll get myself moved up here tomorrow and we can work out what needs to be done and get started."

Jack walked Ennis out to his truck.

"Ennis? Thank you don't hardly seem big enough." Jack said with a foot propped up on the running board as Ennis sat behind the wheel of his truck.

"You need help, Jack. What kind of friend would I be if I didn't offer to help out?"

"I always wanted you and me on a place together. I just never figured it would be this one."

"I know. Me neither. I never figured we could do it ever. But this is the perfect place. Ain't nobody can see anythin' wrong with you comin' here to help your momma out and can't see as they'd see anythin' wrong with you bringin' someone in to help run the place."

"You really think we can do it? Turn this place around?" Jack asked with a hopeful grin.

"Uh huh. We gotta be smart about it though. We won't never get rich off a it but the ground is good so with a little bit of this and a little bit of that, we could be comfortable here and make sure your momma didn't have to worry none."

"What do you mean, a little bit of this and a little bit of that?" Jack asked.

"The days of the small family owned cattle ranches are over. We need to get a lot of other stuff going. We should run some cattle, sure enough but we need to concentrate on other things as well. You got a big place here, 350 acres. We should see about pickin' us up a stallion and a couple a mares. Try our hand at horse breedin'. Maybe build us some chicken coops. There's always a market for chickens and eggs. You got one whole section out there ain't nothin' but scrub trees. We ought to dig them all out of there and maybe put in some apple trees, pear trees. Anything we don't eat or freeze we could sell. I noticed they had a farmer's market when I drove through town."

"Yes, that's been there ever since I can remember."

"We can take all our excess fruit and vegetables there. Maybe make a few bucks."

"Momma used to make a mean apple cider years ago. I remember come fall, everyone used to come trade us stuff for some."

"That's great. We could help her out with it and make enough of that to sell or trade."

"Ennis, you got me really excited about all this now."

"I'm glad. I'll get on the road now and get back here tomorrow morning after I get my errands run." He turned the ignition and Jack hopped down.

"Hey, I just thought of something else we could do to bring in some money." Jack called to him.

"What's that?" Ennis smiled at him through the window.

"Dogs. I saw some Blue Heelers for sale in town yesterday. Huntin' dogs are always in demand. We could see about breedin' some."

"Sounds good. Keep thinkin' 'bout everythin' and I'll see you tomorrow. Oh, and look for a level spot for me to set my trailer up. It ain't that big, just a forty footer. But I'll need to be within a couple hundred feet of electricity and water and a sewer line."

"Okay. I'll find you a spot. You drive careful now. No flat tires, no explosions." Jack waved at him as he backed out.

Ennis waved back with a grin and headed west. By noon the next day he was back again, driving into the driveway of his new home. Jack out front waving at him and smiling a welcome. It was all very strange. He had only been there once, the day before, yet he felt like he was coming home. He was wanted and needed here by people who loved him. They had a world of work ahead of them but every back-breaking hour of labor was going to be worth it. This was Jack's ranch! He was born and raised right here in this house and ran and played in these fields. And Jack's momma couldn't be any sweeter or more friendly. He was going to love her, he knew that. He was kind of glad he had never met the old man. After all the horror stories Jack had told him, he was afraid he wouldn't have been able to keep his hands off the old bastard.

Jack waved him over and showed him a spot beside the barn on the east side. It was away from the house and it would be protected from the hot summer sun from the west and the cold Pacific storms that blew in all winter. Ennis maneuvered the trailer into position and with the hoses and connections they had it hooked up in no time.

Jack came inside the trailer to have a look around. "Not bad, not bad at all. The way you always talked about it, I figured it to be a real dump."

"Well, you didn't see it before I cleaned it up. Filled up half a dumpster before I headed out." Ennis grinned at him.

"Bed comfortable?" Jack asked sitting on the side of it and bouncing slightly.

"Once we get to bouncin' around on that bed, I think we'll find it comfortable enough."

"I'm sure you're right, C'mere." Jack reached for him.

Ennis twisted the lock on the door and dove on top of him, knocking him flat on his back.

"I can't believe we're here, Cowboy, you and me on a place together."

"Yeah, Jack. I been pinchin' myself the whole way here. I still can't believe how easily this all worked out."

"It's my dream, Ennis. It's come true." Jack murmured afterwards as he nestled in close beside Ennis, an arm and a leg both slung over him possessively.

"Mine too though I never figured it would ever actually happen." Ennis drew deeply on his cigarette and blew smoke up at the ceiling.

"I got a million ideas I want to talk to you about. Things we need to do, things we don't really need to do but I'd like to do anyway." Jack said.

"I want to hear everyone of them, Jack, but first, how about a beer?"

"You got some beer?"

"Uh huh. Should still be cold. Least ways, cool. Want one?" Ennis asked as he got up out of bed and un-latched the refrigerator door.

"At least one!" Jack answered enthusiastically and caught it as Ennis tossed him a can. The hiss of the pop-top followed shortly then silence while they drank thirstily.

43 YEARS LATER

"Jesus, this is a long line!" Ennis complained.

"You got somethin' else you need to do besides standin' in line here with me?" Jack asked. "You got a date or somethin'?"

"Well, I could, ya know. I still got what it takes." Ennis sneered.

"Don't I know it?" Jack gave a lecherous grin and raised his bushy eyebrows a time or two. "Ain't nothin' you can do about it though. You got a stand in line now a days for everythin'. How long we stand in line yesterday over at Sears and Roebuck? Must a been an hour or two."

"You're nuts, Jack. We wasn't in line at Sears yesterday, we was at the new Wal-Mart. You forget that already? You're gettin' old."

"Huh? We was at Wal-Mart yesterday? Didn't we go to the post office and mail off the grandkids Christmas presents yesterday? We had to stand in line there too! Jeeze. You'd think they was givin' away free beer or somethin."

"Well maybe they was. How would we know? Neither one a us can see worth a shit any more."

"Speak for yourself, Cowboy. Ain't nothin' wrong with my eye sight. I can still see when you get that old spark in your eye."

"Hush, Jack. You want everyone to know our business?"

"It ain't like they don't already know, Ennis. We been livin' together more than forty years now. Do you think they really think we just sit around and play cards every night?"

"Shush yer mouth, Jack Twist, or I'll shut it for you." Ennis said in a harsh whisper.

"Like you did last night?" Jack gave him a big grin.

"You was just askin' for it last night."

"I was not. I was watchin' the TV. I wasn't finished watchin' it neither and now I'll never know if the bad guy got caught or if he got away, thanks to you!"

"You was layin' there with that big mouth a yer's wide open pretendin' to be yawnin'. You kept doin' it and doin' it. I just give ya what ya was askin' for."

"I wasn't pretendin!" Jack protested with a whisper. "I was sleepy."

"And I took ya to bed right after; didn't I? So what ya complain' about?"

"Ain't complain', Cowboy, just rememberin'."

"Yep. We got some fine rememberin', don't we, Jack?" Ennis grinned as the two of them took a step or two forward.

"We do for a fact. Remember when little Bobby fell out a the apple tree and broke his arm? I thought you was gone a shit your pants!"

"That wasn't Bobby, that was Mikey, the third boy." Jack corrected him.

"Well, hell. Who can keep 'em straight? And while we're thinkin' about it, I'd still like to know why you got nothin' but boys and my girls got nothin' but more girls?"

"Don't know, Cowboy. I ain't in charge a such things."

"It ain't fair, is all I got a say."

"Quit you're gripin', Cowboy. You weren't a gripin' when all seven of them was here last week and you got your picture took with them all sittin' around you out in that field of wildflowers. Looked to me like seven beautiful little flowers surroundin' one bit old giant weed." Jack snickered at his joke

"They ain't so little no more. Those grandbabies seem to grow like weeds."

"Great-grandbabies, Cowboy."

"You gotta correct everythin' I say!" Ennis fussed as they shuffled forward a few more steps. "What difference does it make? Grand babies, great grand babies – you know what I was sayin'."

"I sure do. You was bitchin' cause we was standin' in line again and I was just sayin' you got nothin' better to be doin' so you might as well shut up about it."

"Crotchety." Ennis mumbled.

"Huh?"

"Yer crotchety! Ya old fool. Just 'cause I got off last night and you didn't."

"HA! That shows all you know! I made it twice last week and you couldn't even get little Ennis to come out and play!"

"He was playin' long and proud last night, if your feeble mind could remember."

"I remember! I remember just fine. And if **you'd** just remember – it was me that got you where you was goin'. Or did you forget that one little detail?"

"I don't forget nothin', Jack Twist. Yer the one can't remember shit from Shinola. How many times I tell ya, we need light bulbs? Huh? Did you bring any light bulbs home from the store? Huh?"

"I told ya to put it on the list. I got everythin' that was on that list. If you forget to put it on the list, it ain't my fault we end up sittin' in the dark."

"Don't really matter none, Jack. I kind a like sittin' in the dark with you." Ennis grinned a bit and tilted his hat back a bit for a better look at Jack.

"Me too, Cowboy. Kind of reminds me of our old campfire sittin' days. You remember them?"

"Uh huh. I remember the stink of the sheep, the burnt food, the dumb-ass mules and you seducin' me – leadin' me down the path of sin."

"Didn't take all that much leadin' if I remember correctly. In fact, wasn't it you comin' into my tent that night pretendin' to be cold so's I'd take pity on you?"

"Pretendin? Pretendin?" Ennis grabbed Jack by the shoulder and spun him around – then had to steady him so he wouldn't fall. "I was drunk and have froze and you was all snuggly and warm and … and … Watch yer stop there, Jack. You don't need to be takin' another fall. You know how yer knees are."

"Ain't nothin' wrong with my knees. Doctor said they got another forty years in 'em."

"He said no such thing! He said you need to take your pills and watch your cholesterol – whatever the hell that is."

"I take all those pills, I ain't skipped 'em but that one time and that was 'cause I was throwin' up. Yer cookin' get any worse it's gone a kill us both."

"That wasn't my cookin' when you got sick. We ate at Denny's that night. Shit, Jack, that was just a couple days ago. Yer memory is shot."

"Was not! It was snowin' that night. It's May now. It was months ago."

"It's ain't neither May! Is it?"

"Shit, I don't know. Who cares anyway." Jack took his handkerchief out and wiped the corners of his mouth. "You need wipin?"

"Hell no! Not with some fancy piece of cloth with yer initials on it." Ennis wiped his mouth on his shoulder.

"You remember the time we surprised Momma with the new sewin' machine?"

"I do. Didn't think she was ever gone a stop cryin'. I remember she made new curtains and some new dresses. She was right happy with that machine."

"She was, wasn't she." Jack smiled at the memory.

"Gentlemen? I see the two of you arrived. "Can you tell me how you came to be here?"

"Oh that." Ennis grinned. "They called it the Swine Flu. Though I don't know how we caught it. Ain't neither of us been around no pigs in years."

"I got it first." Jack offered. "Then we was both sick and I don't really remember much else. Do you Ennis?"

"We ate lots of soup and took pills and such and then we kind a … just went to sleep. Next thing I knew we was standin' here in line."

"I see. And can the two of you tell me what you've learned since you were here last?" Saint Peter asked.

"I ain't never been here before." Ennis said as he looked around at the Pearly White Gates and fluffy white clouds and rainbows all around.

"Yes you have. You were fourteen and your parents had just passed over. You went into the bathroom and took every pill you could find in the medicine cabinet and swallowed them down with a bottle of your father's whiskey."

"You know about that?" Ennis' mouth dropped open.

"I do. We had a very nice talk and I told you to go home and that you had a lot of years left before it was your time."

"You do kind a look familiar." Ennis eyed him.

"And you, Jack, do you remember being here before?"

Jack touched his crooked nose thoughtfully. An old habit he'd picked up years ago after a minor truck accident that left him with a broken nose and a scar across his forehead. He had been pumping up a flat when the tire blew up. The rim slammed into his face breaking his nose and gashing his forehead. It could have been serious as it stunned him for a few minutes but Ennis was with him and got him to the hospital immediately. "I think I do." Jack said. "Not too sure though. I always kind a thought it was a dream."

"Can either of you tell me what you've learned in your many years on earth?"

Ennis poked Jack in the ribs with his elbow. "Say somethin'."

"Um … I guess I learned that you got a keep goin' no matter what happens or what other people think a you. You got a walk the path that's in front of you and just do the best you can do." Jack stuttered out.

"Very good. And you Ennis?"

"Huh? Oh. "Um … " Ennis shuffled his feet and stuck both hands in his pockets. "I guess I learned that we each got a right to live our own lives the way we want to and not to worry so much about what other people think. Oh, and not to drink too much whiskey. It makes Jack here kind a loopy."

Saint Peter chuckled. "I see here that between the two of you, you had three children, ten grand children, and fourteen great-grandchildren."

"That's the count so far but it could be goin' up any minute. They seem to be breedin' like rabbits." Ennis grinned.

"It's a good strong line the two of you have started here – everyone of them are fine citizens. You can be proud. You did your job as parents very well."

"Thank you, Sir." They both nodded proudly.

"All right then," St. Peter looked down at the paperwork on the desk, "Over that way." He waved his hand towards a vast green field behind him.

"That way?" Ennis asked.

"Don't we get to go in there?" Jack asked pointing towards the Pearly Gates.

"Most assuredly. But over there in that field is your transportation."

Ennis raised a hand to shield his eyes and Jack did the same as they made their way in the direction they were pointed.

"Oh my God! Cigar Butt? Jack look!"

"I'm lookin'. And ain't this here the bay mare that give me so much trouble? It sure enough is!"

Ennis took one little hop and he was up in the saddle and patting the side of Cigar Butt's neck and talking to him. He turned to watch as the mare tried once again to unseat Jack but he had her calmed down and gentled in a minute with his kind words and sweet manner.

Ennis took off on a wild gallop across the field and Jack raced after him.

"Hey! You're goin' in the wrong direction! We're supposed to be goin' that a way." Jack grinned.

Cigar Butt reared up and Ennis held on, his face split with a big grin. Jack laughed out loud. "I guess a few minutes wouldn't hurt." They took off towards a stream in the distance that meandered across the foot hills in front of them. The horses lapped at the cool water while they caught their breath.

"Thought you was gone a fall for sure." Jack grinned. "Neither one a us been on a horse in years."

"That's too damn long." Ennis said as his horse side stepped a bit.

"I'd forgotten how much I enjoyed it." Jack said as he patted his horse's neck and fingered the mane.

"Look over there on the rocks. Look at that sign." Ennis pointed.

Jack looked and saw a big sign resting on the rocks beside the water. It said "PEARLY GATES" and there was a big arrow pointing off up-stream. Ennis made a clicking noise in his cheek and his horse moved to the familiar tug on the reins. Jack walked his horse along side.

"I guess that explains everything." Jack said as he adjusted his black hat back on his head a bit.

"What?" Ennis asked.

"I always knew it would be Heaven if the two of us could be together."

"Well it has been, Jack. Since '63 when we first met." Ennis said.

"Whenever we were together it was. The rest of the time it was fuckin' hell."

"Uh huh. Guess we shouldn't be talkin' like that no more though."

"Like what?"

"Like cussin' and all. Look where we are, Jack. You ever see a place this beautiful before?"

"Looks a lot like Brokeback to me." Jack glanced around.

"Yeah, Brokeback, but warmer."

"You're right! It ain't freezin' like Brokeback was." Jack grinned. "Does this mean there won't be no need for us to be cuddlin' up together then?"

"I don't know where we are exactly, Jack, but I think cuddlin' up will be allowed."

"Not only is it allowed, it's encouraged." They both looked up to see St. Peter, on horseback, waiting at the side gate and they trotted over to him. "This is your place right over there."

St. Peter gestured towards a beautiful little cabin nestled in the clearing back away from the stream. "I think you'll find everything you need. When you feel like a little company, ride off towards the north. You'll find a map inside that will show you where everything is." He turned his horse and started off and then turned back. "Oh by the way – Welcome to Paradise."

Jack and Ennis walked their horses over to the corral beside the cabin and turned them loose. They walked into the cabin and Ennis sniffed the air. "Elk stew? That smells like the elk stew we used to make."

"It does for a fact." Jack said as he lifted the lid off the pot that was steaming on the stove.

"Jack! Your nose!" Ennis stared at him.

"My nose? What's a matter? I got a booger?" Jack wiped at his nose with the back of his hand.

"It's straight again! And your scar – it's gone!"

Jack's hand flew to his forehead where he jagged scar had been and touched smooth skin.

"Oh man!" Jack said with a grin. "Look at yourself, Ennis!"

They stood for several moments in front of the mirror on top of the dresser in the bedroom. Two fine handsome young men stared back at them.

"I really look like that again?" Ennis asked finally.

"Uh huh. Me too?" Jack asked.

"Uh huh."

"Scar's gone and everythin'?"

"Uh huh." Ennis said and grabbed Jack up in a bear hug. "Beautiful as that first night in the tent up on Brokeback. You remember that? The night I lost my virginity?"

"It ain't likely I'd forget somethin' like that, Ennis. I thought you was gone a split me right down the middle!" Jack laughed and buried his face against the side of Ennis' neck.

"You started a fire in me that night, Jack Twist, and it ain't never gone out – not after all these years. I don't expect it ever will."

"I intend to see that it doesn't." Jack said and led them into the bedroom.

xxxxxx

"Son of a bitch!" Ennis sighed.

"I thought we wasn't supposed to swear no more." Jack chided him as he lay with arms and legs still wrapped around Ennis.

"It ain't been that good … since …" Ennis stuttered

"It ain't been that good **never**!" Jack finished up for him. "If we weren't already in Heaven, I'd a thought we just then died and went to Heaven."

"Jack we ain't in Heaven. There ain't no such thing." Ennis kissed the arm flung across his chest.

"We are so too!" Jack argued.

"I don't know exactly what's happenin' but I know we ain't in Heaven. I mean … where are the angels? Where is the harp music? Huh?"

Jack pulled free and got up to his knees. "You ever hear harp music?"

"Nope. Can't say as I have."

"Well maybe this part of Heaven is reserved for folks like us – folks who like old Willie."

They could hear the faint strings of "Blue Eyes Crying In The Rain" in the back ground.

"Maybe everybody don't think harp music is something they want to listen to all day. Did you ever think of that?"

"So where are the angels then? Huh? Ain't Heaven supposed to be full of Angels?"

"Well you got me there." Jack answered as he reached around behind and scratched his back. "What the …" He strained to look over his shoulder to see what his fingers had touched. "JESUS H. CHRIST!" He hopped off the bed and stood in front of the mirror on the dresser. "LOOK!" He turned around and there folded neatly against his back were a pair of white feathered wings.

"HOLY SHIT!" Ennis bounded off the bed for a closer inspection.

"You got 'em too! Look!"

Ennis turned around to see and flexed his shoulder muscles and the wings shuddered briefly.

"Hey, wait a minute. How come yours are bigger than mine?" Jack asked as he eyed both pair.

"I'm bigger than you, Jack. Always have been." Ennis grinned.

"You may be a lot older than me but …"

"Three months and three days, Jack. I'm older, I'm bigger and they give me bigger wings. Quit complainin' . They know what they're doin." He flexed his shoulders again and watched as the wings fluttered open a bit.

"Shit. Always second best." Jack brooded. "Even in Heaven."

"Jack, you ain't second best. You never have been. You've always been the best – the best I ever had."

"I'm the only one you ever had." Jack said, his chin coming up off his chest a little.

"Then that makes you the best! Never had anyone else but you because I always knew there was none better. Once you had the best, you don't want no other." Ennis drew Jack into his arms.

Two sets of wings stretched out and surrounded them. They were above the clouds then, wrapped around each other and soaring in the breeze.

"You were right, Jack. This is Heaven." Ennis said as he nuzzled his forehead against Jack's.

Jack smiled his smug little smile. "Told you so!"

THE END

29


End file.
